Nude maid accused of really cleaning up

I read this story at the Charlotte Observer online. It made me laugh and I'm sure that man is in some really hot water in Tampa Bay, Florida this morning.

Charlotte Observer | 05/28/2008 | Nude maid accused of really cleaning up

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The Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately
Spotted a large, beautiful parrot..

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in
A house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some
Pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had
To have the bird any way.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her
Living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,

"New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication,
But then thought "that's really not so bad."

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school
The bird saw and said,

"New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended
But then began to laugh about the situation
Considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Ralph
Came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,
"Hi, Ralph!"

Happy Memorial Day & Star Wars 31st Anniversary

I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day and if you have time, be sure to watch Star Wars. Star Wars was released today in 1977 and I can remember going to the Gem to see the movie just before it was going to be replaced by another movie. It was an awesome movie for a 10 year old boy in '77.

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A Texas cowboy who is visiting Wyoming walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Coors . He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."

Hillary Clinton's colossal blunder simply the last straw!

Wow, Hillary is staying in the race because there could be an assassination of a candidate, like 1968. Unbelievable!

Hillary Clinton's colossal blunder simply the last straw

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Marital Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

1908

THE YEAR 1908

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1908.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :

************ ********* ********* ******

The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles
Of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '
Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound, and they were actually 1 LB.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from
Entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1 Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea
Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.
Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,
regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.'
( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least
One full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

Now I forwarded this from someone else without typing
It myself, and sent it to you and others all over Canada & U.S.A
Possibly the world, in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

IT STAGGERS THE MIND, EH?

British 'X Files' revealed!

I can't wait for the X-Files Movie this summer. "the truth is out there"

British 'X Files' revealed | UFO sightings in Britain made public | The Sun |HomePage|News

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Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary
and his wife was really angry. She told him, 'Tomorrow morning I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 Seconds
AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!'


The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up she looked out the window and
sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in middle of
the driveway.


Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the
driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and there was a brand new Bathroom Scale.


Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

Proud 2 B an American

I love this video by the Tennessee GOP. I'm sure that John McCain will probably attack them like he did the NC GOP for our video about Obama and the Dem Gov. Candidates.

Obama and the Cross.

Wow, this is very interesting. I remember before Christmas, everyone got upset when the bookcase behind Mike Huckabee seemed to form a cross. The anti christian groups came out blasting the Huckster, and it was all over the news for a few days. I have yet to see any stories on this on the major new networks.

I know that Christians disagree on many areas, but I have trouble when someone supports abortion at any trimester. He has made many statements on the subject of abortion and teen pregnancy that I disagree with completely.

Obama and the Cross - The Brody File: David Brody Blog - CBN News

On tap in space: Urine will not go to waste.

I know when I was growing up in the 70's, it was cool to dream of becoming a astronaut. The astronauts use to drink "Tang" back then. It's hard for me to believe that 30 years later the astronauts will now be drinking water that's made from their URINE!!!

On tap in space: Urine will not go to waste - USATODAY.com

Tang Commercial

I now wonder what was in Tang???

X-Files: I Want To Believe

Wow, I had no idea that one of my favorite shows of all time had a second movie coming out this summer. X-Files was my second favorite show of the 90's, behind Seinfeld. X-Files was one of the TV shows that Kristy and I watched every week when we were dating in the 90's. "The Truth is Out There"

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Stumpy and His Wife

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

German Archaeologist on Trail of Ark of the Covenant !

FOXNews.com - German Archaeologist on Trail of Ark of the Covenant - Science News | Science & Technology | Technology News

I believe that I've seen this story somewhere before.....

Giant Pythons Could Spread Quickly Across South!

I thought it was bad when Killer Bees were coming in the 70's and 80's, Fire Ants in the 90's, but this would be the worse invader of all. I hate snakes and to think that pythons could start hanging out in Kannapolis is crazy. I'm just surprised that they are not blaming this on Global Warming, though.

FOXNews.com - Giant Pythons Could Spread Quickly Across South - Science News | Science & Technology | Technology News

Weather vs Sports

I was wondering if it is wrong for me to be so upset when the local TV stations interrupt a sports event to cover a Tornado warning in one of the many counties that make up the Charlotte region.

After a wonderful time with my Mom on Mother's Day, I got home and was actually looking forward to watching the Lakers vs Jazz (Duke's Carlos Boozer's Team). I have not got to see many of the games, since I drive to Atlanta in the evenings. The game started and early in the second period, here comes the "weather geeks" (a term from the local sports talk station). The radar indihttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=12596429#
Post Optionscated a tornado and here we go with wall to wall coverage.

I understand the need to inform people that their life may be in danger. The game was on WSOC TV and they have a sister station, WAXN. They were showing the weather on both. The station finally made the decision about 2 hours later to at least show the final 7 minutes of the game on WAXN. I don't understand why the Charlotte stations who have a sister station don't do the weather on one and the sports on the other.

This happen during the ACC Tournament when Duke was playing Clemson. WBTV did not show about 40 minutes of that game even though they have another station they could switch too or at least do a Picture and Picture deal on WBTV. I noticed that WCNC put the golf coverage yesterday in a small picture why still reporting the weather. That makes so much sense to me. I hope they will be quicker to give us in no danger the option of watching the sports we enjoy watching and if the storm is near Kannapolis, I can watch both in my own PIP window (Jordan Brown many years ago called it a pimp window) on my TV.

Storm brings hail to Cabarrus!

This is the storm that interfered with the Jazz vs Lakers game.

Storm brings hail to Cabarrus - Independent Tribune - Concord and Kannapolis

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Third Opinion

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''

Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''

Happy Mother's Day

I've had a good Mother's Day. My mom and mother in law came to Crossroads Kannapolis for worship this morning, and then we went to Sojo's for lunch. The hibachi chicken was awesome, as always and I even brought some home for supper. The chef was good, but he was not able to catch the eggs in his pocket (he missed and the eggs cracked both times). He was able to hit his hat with the egg later.

I hope you all have a great time with your mom today and give thanks to God for your mom.

General Stonewall Jackson

Confederate Memorial Day

I know that the official Yankee Memorial Day is still a few weeks away, but today is Confederate Memorial Day. This is the day that the great Stonewall Jackson died 145 years ago. I've been to both Stonewall and Robert E Lee's grave in Lexington, Va. If you love history, especially Southern History, you have to visit at least once in your life.

Robert E. Lee

I'm Back to Blogging

I guess after a few months off, it's time to blog stuff that interest me again. I hope you will make the blog a regular site that you hit as you surf the web.